Could someone give me feedback on my new story?!?

I only read the first few paragraphs. The punctuation bothered me and the fact that peter's name isn't capitolized. This already shows a lack of care and preparation on the part of the writer. These details might not seem like they are that big a deal but an editor who won't read your work for lack of proper form means you won't get published. It is simply inconsiderate and it makes it harder for the reader to pay attention to the content if the technical side of your writing is poor.