Monday, January 9, 2012
Is HIV lingering in my body!?
First off, I have a lot on my mind -- let me give you some background into my problem. I'm 22 and a fairly healthy female. Recently, I had gotten mono but have gotten better, and I have a mild case of vitiligo (which is a autoimmune disease) for a few years now since high school. I tend to get sick a little bit more than my friends -- I think it's because I've always been a bit more fragile and delicate although I would say I'm fairly healthy. Both of my parents are in the medical field, and I eat and sleep pretty well and have had a decent family life despite some stresses in my life from school and other personal issues. I lost my virginity a few months back to a guy that I thought a knew well. We were dating from about Jan to June. I had all kinds of unprotected . I thought I could trust him and I thought we were in love -- anyway the story between me and him is way too long to explain here. The point is we broke off on somewhat weird and bad terms and now he is out of the country for now even though I know some of his friends and I know his whereabouts (so in a sense I could keep a track of him). And, now that I think of it he lied to me about a few things and now I consider him a full fledge liar. So, I decided to get myself tested for HIV because all of a sudden I grew worried that maybe he lied to me about his ual history. I had asked him once before in the heat of the moment if he had ever had unprotected with anyone else and he said no and that he didn't trust the other girls from before because he didn't know how many guys they slept with. So, I was uming I was the only he was doing this with, but I could very well be wrong. After him, I rebounded with this other guy (whom I trust a lot more than my previous ex because he was a little bit more explicit about his ual history -- he said that he had only had with his ex of five yrs before me and I had reason to believe him -- I know she existed-- although I know you shouldn't trust anyone with your body!) whom I gave and received unprotected from and we also tried having unprotected twice. However, I was primarily worried about contracting an std something from my ex (Jan-June) since he was a lot more experienced sexually and more of that "player" "charismatic" "ladies man" type than the rebound guy. My sister even said that he was most probably the one who gave me mono -- although we can't really know that for sure -- maybe the new rebound guy did or maybe I just caught it from some other means or someone else. So, I counted back to my last sexual exposure that I had with my first ex and that was in June and I got a rapid finger prick blood test in early Nov. which I tested negative for. The point of my question is that I have been reading so much online and doing a ton of research on HIV what it is, who's at risk, all the diff means of testing it -- you name it every question and piece of info about HIV I have read in the past week --it's insane the amount of info I have swarming around my head about it. I don't know if I'm growing paranoid or what but on the web and from other people I've gotten all kinds of random mixed info telling me about window periods (3 months or 6 months) and it's driving me crazy because a lot of people say I'm fine if i tested negative after 3 months of exposure .. but I'm going nuts that maybe I have to wait until Jan (when it'll be 6 months after exposure) for the antibodies to develop and show in my blood. Am i being crazy? I feel really helpless -- I was thinking of calling some hiv hotlines to talk to someone who could calm me down. Some, ppl say you don't know for sure until it has been six months after exposure and some say that a 3 month negative test is conclusive -- what is the right answer? or is HIV this controversial issue that has no right answer -- is the only answer to keep testing constantly? I've even been reading and watching the trailer of this doentary called "House of Numbers" about how the standard ideas of HIV are being questioned. I've become so engrossed in this topic -- it's sucking up all my time and brain power! I'm full of panic and anxiety. Tom, I will be going to the clinic to check for chlamydia and gonnorhea just to make sure I'm healthy and okay since the nurse who did my hiv test recommended that I test for that since those are the two stds that most commonly go undetected. I'm pretty sure I might get answers that I've already predicted in my head or read somewhere about on the internet, but I'm just wondering do I really have to worry? I feel like I put myself at great risk by engaging in unprotected sex especially when I didn't have the person I did it with take a test himself and show me his results -- also I feel like my immune system is compromised sometimes because of my autoimmune disease -- am I more susceptible for contacting this deadly virus that might be lingering in me and is just not showing up in my blood yet? I even yahoo answered t
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