I'm 30, I'm depressed and my husband grosses me out...?

I got married in March. And now I wish I didn't. I am depressed, I hate my life here. My husband is nasty. with him makes me feel like I am a cheap , his kisses feel like hot eels darting around my mouth, he flicks it all over my body and it makes me want to cry. I feel so dirty. I have with him, I don't tell him no, but inside I just want it to be over. I can't shower without him, he stands over me while I shave. I hate the way he looks at me. He says I'm beautiful and loves to look at me, but it freaks me out and makes me feel like a prisoner. He takes ever chance he can to smack my bottom or grope my chest. When we sleep, he is practically on top of me and if I move, he moves closer. He wraps his arms around me and I can't breath, his hand cups my and I pretend to be asleep. I am a stay at home mom and have no life, no friends, no family within a 600 mile distance. What's going on with me? Why do I hate him so much when I loved him 6 months ago?